Perfection

I am a perfectionist.  I really didn't believe that at first, because I didn't meet all the criteria.  Very ironic, I know.  Anyway, I've thought long and hard about perfectionism, and decided that it is a myth.  Perfectionism is just the voice inside telling me that I am not good enough, or my efforts are not good enough. 

I read a wonderful quote by Vincent Van Gogh - "If you hear a voice within you that says 'you cannot paint', then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced".   Here's what I have to say to myself, and those around me who are fellow perfecitonists (ok, that was a test - if you spotted the spelling error, read on). 

You are good enough
The thing with perfectionism is that it holds us back from truly participating in things, as we want to do everything properly.  If you live by the credo "if something is worth doing, it is worth doing properly", that's cool, but 'properly' for a perfectionist is usually translated into 'perfectly', which means that things must be right, and if you are not right, you're not worthy.  This is a lie.  You are wonderful just as you are.  It's about being, not doing.  You would be worthy as a human being whether you contributed in any meaningful way or not just because your perspective is unique, and therefore valuable. 

I'm not advocating that people stop striving to do things well.  Rather, I invite you to do things well out of joy, letting go of the fear that people will see you in a negative light if you fail, or if you do something less than perfectly.  The challenge here is to participate, not to conquer.

Letting go
Put yourself out there with your flaws - you will grow from doing things, not doing things correctly.  We learn and grow from our challenges and mistakes, not from being fearful of failure.  It's interesting to analyse where the perfectionist root comes from.  Why do we need to do things well?  If you can let go of the usual answers and justifications about why something out of place is so upsetting, then you will be closer to the truth, and closer to being able to let perfectionism go.

Treating yourself with kindness
If your best friend were critical of her efforts, what would you say to him/her?  It is a good thing to treat yourself as your best friend - with love, honesty and kindness.  When you start to recognise that voice inside you telling you that you cannot paint, silence it by acknowledging it is there, recognising it as a liar, and simply start doing what it tells you is impossible. 


"How Fascinating"
One of my favourite books is by Rosamund and Ben Zander - The Art of Possibility.  They have a wonderful way of reacting to things that we might view as mistakes - "How Fascinating!".  A mistake is not a bad thing unless you don't learn anything and let it steal your sense of humour. 


So I invite you to join me in letting go of the perfectionism, treat ourselves as we would our best friend, and just put yourself out there in experiencing the world - things might not always go to plan, and that is the moment when the most fascinating stories can unfold!